Friday, January 25, 2008
Not easy
I'm not gonna apologize every time I don't write in here for a long time. Well, it's just not easy being me.I must have a life plan. It's seems as if my dreams are all over the place. I want something this one minute and then I see something else and want that. My habits are not bad, but truly who can bear with me the rest of their lives? At this point...no one!
SHE is truly too busy with his own life to be interested in being with me. She seems to be interested in me when I am around the forum. Not a definite kind of new relationship on my part because she doesn't seem to be that interested in someone like me. Of course my heart adores her. Being her friend would be the one thing I would need to set me on the right foot. But remember she is too busy with working hard on planning her own life. I respect that.
Another SHE is simply wants to fuck around. She is kinda cute if you are not looking right in what she really does, but we would never in a million years be cool friends.
Another SHE is totally wrong for me and I feel guilty chatting with her. I sometimes talk to her because I truly want to continue a friendship with her. I have wished once upon a star to be her friend, but I would have to compromise too much of my daily life which is me. Not worth it! She is too nice to fuck around with but a friend I want her to be.
HE still wants to get his worm in my pants but that is never going to happen again.
Another SHE at times I miss her but I think it maybe to do to the fact she was the first one I truly decided to be friend with after first chat. I desired this relationship to work more than any other. So I did everything possible. So I'm not over her yet.
Another HE that I'm not sure if I want to continue the friendship pass weed status with. I make weird decisions when I am hurting but anyways. I did text him back said hope you are having fun on trip. I felt guilty about me not responding all the other times and I hate to think of his trip being ruined on the account of him thinking I am mad. I can pretend I am not. I guess at this point I am simply happy to be known as his friend.
Well, it saddened me that Head Ledger has died. RIP
11:22 PM
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Shadow Graden
Follow me down through sorrow's gateThrough the twisted garden of my mind
With wicked snares and threatening visions
Where thickets of thorns guard the path
All to sit by my side and hear
The words of my pleading heart
That call for you to save me, dear
From the recesses of my mind
Where all the sorrows grow
Long live my memories there
In the shadow garden of my soul
Where you once tried to let in the sun
So the flowers would resume to growth
And now you rest, your efforts lost
Lie quiet and still forever more
Lovely, lost but I always know
You are the one who will never go
Planted here where shadows grow
G.D Howard
3:56 AM
Thursday, January 17, 2008
I am sick
I am sick of trying to change myself to acclimatize your perspectiveI am sick of being indecent of your protocol
I am sick tired of chasing the same star
I am sick of being too tall
I am sick of being bored
I am sick of black & white world
I am sick of people's stereotypes
I am sick of being a black ink on a white paper in book of life
I am sick of sticking within dull life boundaries of black and white
I am rainbow
6:24 AM
Friday, January 11, 2008
Heard the rhythm of the raindrops Dripping to the ground.
Heard the rhythm of the raindrops Dropping all around.
Heard the rhythm of the raindrops Drumming on the rafter.
Heard the rhythm of the raindrops Drowning out our laughter.
..Fannie L Houck..